This topic is so important to me personally. My biggest area of struggle is second guessing myself. This leads to undermining myself, sabotaging myself and setting myself up for failure. All horrible things! And why would someone do that to themselves!?
From an early age I concluded that life was confusing. We each have family situations that offer various forms of dysfunction. Mine was the death of a parent before age 3. Kids cope in unbelievable ways and I’m beginning to see that I decided to accept that all of life was confusing and never really made sense or was trust-able. I love the description of a tiger from the Chinese zodiac, although positive this stinger rings too true: over-confidence and mistrust. I interpret that as trusting nothing but thinking you can always meet the new challenge. These traits enable me to pull back on decisions. This is bad for mental health! Life needs direction and purpose.
There’s a lot to deal with here and I’ve got my hands full. Life, however, will teach me and through experience I’ll gain wisdom and maturity as long as I continue to self-reflect and work on myself. My advice for someone struggling with making choices is to:
- make a list of pros and cons ignore “what if’s” or outside pressures from people who haven’t demonstrated an investment in you (which sadly will be mostly everyone)
- get your mind off it
- do something that makes you smile
- be calm and quiet, meditate
- and ask your gut, your body, your inner being if this is right for you
You may not get a loud and clear response. The next steps would be to imagine yourself making the choice and really “look where you are stepping.” See all the details of daily in and out life if you make this choice. Do research but not too much – there’s more power in your imagination than any YouTube video you may view. Finally, if you feel positive and excited about it, maybe you should go for it! If it crashes and burns you’ll learn a lesson AND you will have worked on your ability to make a choice. If you feel like it would be punishing yourself do not make the choice. If you are looking for the negatives and talking yourself out of it – stop doing that as it is your old habit clouding your mind.
Life is short. Life has plans. The worst thing to do is to be stuck. Are you stuck? Make a choice and then believe in it. All there is here to do is to learn, there are really no wrong choices. All there is here to do is learn.