“I can’t believe she did that to me!” – “I can believe that she did that me, it makes total sense”
“What a jerk!” – “I get it, I understand their behaviors”
“I need to forgive her” – “I’ll never forgive her”
“I hate myself” – “I don’t hate myself”
I don’t know. What is bothering you? Say it and then say the exact opposite. Lakes and mountains. Heaven and Earth. Fire and Water. Wood and Metal. Yin and Yang. Where are you leaning more towards one area? As an exercise take that area and say the opposite like some of the examples above. They are quite generic as only you can make it specific and useful. The idea is to be middle yin or middle yang. The more stable of the areas. You see, in the I Ching you read hexagrams, which are 6 lines, really it’s two sets of 3 lines. In each 3 line set you want to be the middle line. The not exaggerated view point. Try to see those situations that really drive you nuts from the exact opposites. Look at this picture:
The exaggerated highs (full yang) and lows (full yin) are to be avoided. So if you find yourself exaggerating some of your thoughts on a particular topic, like the experience of your last relationship, then try saying the exact opposite exaggeration with the goal of bringing your perspective more towards the straight line. Middle yin and middle yang.
If your life can be represented by a string of a finite length then the more exaggerated the highs and lows are then the less your length it will be able to cover ie; a shorter life. So the more you can keep your life steady and stable (it will never be a straight line as that doesn’t exist in nature) then the longer your life and health will be.