The Last Song You Hear

If there were a song that you could listen to, never heard it before, in fact no one can really tell you what it sounds like because no one knows, and at the conclusion of the song your life was over, would you listen to it?  I would.  I realize how odd that sounds but I can’t imagine a better way I’d want to go than that.  This deal wouldn’t be a joke, it would be an actual song with lots having gone into it.  In other words, whatever mystical force offered this to you isn’t trying to trick you.  It’s just a song that at the end of it you die.  Would you listen?

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I would want to know what it sounds like.  Is this the sound of death?  My own death?  My own life?  Would it be custom tailored for each person or is there possible a song that is so powerful, so wise, so cathartic that anyone who hears it would stop living in this world.  Does that peak your interest?  It floors mine.

Some composers must have been trying to get close.  Beethoven string quartet no. 15, 3rd movement comes to mind.  If you haven’t heard that check here and read up on the story behind this movement in particular.  He thought he was going to die:

“Die, die my darlin'” by the Misfits, “Transatlanticism” by DCFC…I won’t continue to list but in so many genres composers write about death.  Not just death but include or point to the cathartic release from this life in a song.  Seems like a good goal to pursue.  As a composer I’d love to write this song.

I know it sounds suicidal but if I were offered the song I would listen without looking back.  So much passion in music.  I know this as someone who has written, recorded, performed, conducted, rehearsed, adored, hated, loved, made a soundtrack to my life and anything else you can do to music.  What does release sound like for you?  What would ultimate release sound like for you?  If you heard it – would you then die?

Experience vs. Acquisition

What am I doing with my life?  Can you answer that?  What kind of answers do you think you might hear to that question?

“getting a degree” “raising a family” “working until retirement”  “paying off my house”

Well those are all good and I’d like to contemplate the concept of generational differences in what life is all about.  A very bright scholar was talking to me the other day about acquisition in the baby boomer generation.  The baby boomer’s would be likely to give the aforementioned answers.  They were a generation taught or devised of their own experience the values of acquiring things.  College degree, career, house mortgage, lawn, climb the ladder, family, retirement.  Many of our parents are from this baby boom generation where acquisition is the priority of life.

generations

Now I was born in the 80’s.  My generation is not so concerned with owning cars, houses or retirement plans.  I, for example, have been in the same career or adjacent career field for 14 years however I have not kept with the same employer for more than 2 years. I own my own business.   I got one master’s degree and then I got another one.  I work freelance in a variety of music related fields.  I sold my car.  I’ve traveled the world, taken jobs just for the experience, tried everything once, and now live across the world from where I grew up.  What am I here for?  I’m here to experience things.  I will not hold onto a broken relationship – it was the lessons learned that were the gift of the relationship not the other person or the idea of us.  I wasn’t trying to acquire someone else.  Jobs offer insight into lifestyles but I’ve never wanted to stay in the jobs – just to gain the insight and experience.  For example, I’ve done over 15 national and global touring jobs, living on busses and hotel rooms.  It was never my intention to stay a nomad or make my life on the road permanent.  But I did it, grin and bear, for the experience.  I wasn’t trying to acquire a permanent position.

Now, as I’m advancing in age I am seeing the benefit of sedimentation.  In other words, slowing down a little and allowing all of my life experiences to congeal.  I’ve stirred up a whole whirlwind of information and insight through my experiences that I need now to allow to settle so that I can become a more stable, solid and realized person which will allow me to have influence and effect in my life.  What is my life?

At this point, I’m realizing that my life is about who and what surrounds me daily.  Long distance anything is over.  To sediment and become a fixed figure allows others passing by to see and recognize me, so feel secure and observe me, to be influenced, taught or interact with me as they wish.  Like big mountain as opposed to the wind.  I believe this is the progression of life for my generation.

I wonder what the newer generations lives will look like?  I can’t imagine they will be even more adventurous and experience orientated than mine ..!  What would that look like…not firming up in one place until they are mid 40’s?  Could be…perhaps the nuclear family is disappearing and our population issue will start to slow down.  More humans learning about themselves and the world, less just defaulting to breeding as a priority.

I wonder what the ultimate point of it all is… to see hundreds of years into the future how they live their lives…